I have been refraining from writing, for reasons that only a few will know. I apologize to those few, in advance. I have reached a point where I cannot refrain any longer. I write not to gain sypmathy, rather, because it helps me cope.
Courtney is having helath problems. You need some background before I continue, so please prepare yourselves. Sadly, they started with headaches. A kind of headache she has never experienced before. She only thought she knew pain~ until it felt like someone had stabbed her through the eye with a knife. At first it presented like cluster headaches, very predictable, same time every month, same intesnsity. We went to a local neurologist (we refer to her as Condesending Bitch), she walked in with the preconcieved notion that Courtney was suffering migraines, reluctantly ordered an MRI, noted that the 0.6 mm cyst on her pituitary glad was a typo, dismissed it, and sent us on our way with a prescription for migraine. Things got worse. Courtney started showing signs of hormonal issues. Off to an endocrinologist we went. Thyroid does not look as it should, stretch marks she shouldn’t have, vision problems, weight gain, short term memory issues, panic attacks, confirmation that the cyst is .6cm, not mm ~ you get the idea. The endocronologist ordered tests on every hormone the pituitary glad regulates, plus an MRI with contrast. Meanwhile, we made an appointment with her former heasache specialist. He’s awesome! Headache diagnosed as something that could possibly be csused by said cyst, medicine prescribed, although difficult to obtain. Courtney goes for more blood work to monitor kidney~ and apparently liver~ funtion. MRI with contrast at outpatient clinic at UT Southwestern unsuccessful due to inability to start IV. Headache specialist calls the day before MRI to inform us that liver enzymes are slightly elevated. MRI rescheduled at hospital. MRI successful.
First off, let me apologize for the choppy paragraph you just read. I have not the energy to worry about that at this time. Second, let me tell you about the amazing adult Courtney has become. Some days are better than others. I have had more than a couple of days of phone calls where I had to, figuratively speaking, talk her off a ledge to get her to school. It is no easy task to deal with a classroom full of 25 kids, whilst trying to calm a panicky 18 year old so that she can get to school. I would love to be home every morning to help kick her out the door, but that is not feasable. Barring appointments, between the two of us, we manage to get her to school on an almost daily basis. She has dreams. As odd as it might sound to some of us, she wants to teach math. She is passionate about it. She’s scared~ scared that she won’t remember the math she is taught, scared that she won’t be able to see to do the math. She’s scared she won’t fit into the cute dress she bought for graduation, that she won’t be sitting on the stage at graduation as a salutatorian; just plain scared. Here’s the thing that makes her so amazing~ she still gets up every morning, takes a shower, and more often than not, gets her ass to school. She knows she is likely facing surgery. She doesn’t wallow in self pity (although she frequently wants to), she does what needs to be done, she laughs, she faithfully follows Premier League Soccer, she looks to her future as a teacher, she wants to plant flowers, she prepares, as best she can, for AP exams, and looks to dual credit exams; she continues to do what needs to be done, hopes for the best. We see the endocronologist Wednesday to get results of the MRI and hormone testing.
Courtney is currently sleeping comfotably on the couch. After all, she was up a full two hours earlier than usual in order to be in Dallas at 8:30 this morning. TO say she was stressed is quite the understament. She was afaid of more blown veins~ there were three on Saturday. Fortunately, the IV team at Clements University Hospital was able to start an IV with one try. I think we will have an IV team ready from here on out. Courtney never ceases to amaze me, and I know she never will. I think she gets her strenght from the love of my life, her father, and the glue that holds us together. No matter what happens, she will proudly walk across the stage on June 3, earning a distinguished diploma from Denton ISD.